Kismet Is Sadistic
by Forever.Jin
Summary: Post-Fourth Shinobi World War. Izumi (OC)and Fai (OC)come to Konoho seeking shelter for the winter. Both are confronted by men they would rather forget. And, of course, nothing goes as planned. Or does it? Rated mostly for language and future "adult" content. R & R, and strap yourselves in. KIS re-write. Kakashi x OC and Sasuke x OC


First chapter! Welcome! This is a re-write of one of first FanFics, as I feel my writing style has matured a little, I could not continue my old story and so I started to write it from scratch. This is the result. A little about this story, since it's been in my head for over eight years (whaaaat?! wow). I, as a writer, prefer to stick as close to the original storyline without disrupting it as much as possible. That being said, I have to put my foot down at some point, and so for this story Neji is not dead. Kishimoto, you cannot take him away from me! I won't allow it! I also add my own world in this story: demons. I have done as much research as one with an internet connection can on Chinese, Korean, and Japanese Fox Folklore, so I will be incorporating that, along with my own fantasy/interpretation of those mythos into the Naruto universe. If you as a reader are cool woth this, read on. If not, get the fuck out. Beware my vulgar language and humor; if anything beyond my crude language is due to shows up, I will warn you at the beginning of the chapter. Now that we become acquainted, let us move on.

Chapter 1:

She swirled the cloak around her shoulders in a practiced fashion. When asked why they were walking, a lofty shrug accompanied the short answer; "It's a beautiful day. Why not?" The truth was, she didn't want to reach their destination, but necessity was, well, necessary. You can't change the facts in life, and the fact was Izumi and Fai were homeless. But, that didn't mean she had to get where she had to go with haste. It's not easy going back to your childhood home, asking for a handout; for Izumi, going home wasn't easy in itself. Pride is sinful, she reminded herself with a sigh.

Beside her, a young woman, Fai, turned cartwheels, did back flips, front flips, walked on her hands, but boredom all too soon took over. Slow was not Fai's speed, and this was slow. "Why the hell are we walking? We could have been there by now. Hell, we could have been halfway across the country! This is stupid and a waste of time!"

"Time goes by too fast."

"Yeah, and you're wasting mine."

Izumi smiled, "You're young! You've got plenty to waste. Time, beauty, brain cells," the last bit was said smugly and ignited Fai's fiery temper.

"Fuck this, I'll go at my own speed and you can walk and be bitchy with yourself!"

"But, with my bitch-ness and your foul-mouthed, snarky attitude, we're unstoppable!" Izumi's grin flashed quick and exasperated Fai.

"Mom, you're stupid."

"Baby, you say such sweet things."

The remainder of their walk subsided into a comfortable, mutually-defeated silence.

...

The village was bustling, as all villages tend to be. Not war, nor major or minor catastrophe, nor shady politics could prevent a village from doing the bustle. It made Izumi a little sick. She'd take the solitary forest or the red-light district over the village any day. Then again, a red-light district bustled, it was a sly, sleazy bustle, but it was a bustle. Maybe if she imaged all the shop were whore houses, the owners as pimps and the customers as desperate, boozed up clientele, she would feel a little better. Somehow, she just couldn't picture the grocer and the mom with three kids hanging off of her as such; just too damn cheerful. At least everyone stared, that always helped. Fai was taking it in stride. This wasn't her first time being an intruder in a close-knit community; curious, impassive, and some times down right hostile looks are what you got when the wandering rolled into town. Confident posture, head held high with just the slightest tilt in the chin toward arrogant, dark eyes sharp and direct; yes, Fai was a sight that made Izumi proud. What more could one ask in a daughter?

Neither was surprised by the two shinobi who appeared beside them, they had been aware they were being tailed for the past mile or so, "You will be coming with us."

"Fuck you."

Oh yeah, one could ask for a better attitude. Izumi gently punched Fai's shoulder, "Chill. We'll follow," she spoke lightly to the shinobi, "no need for your back up to charge in," she patted the closest surprised shinobi on the shoulder and leaned in to whisper, "five wouldn't have been enough anyway."

She turned and started walking toward the center of the village. Fai followed her, letting her hips swing softly for the shinobi behind her, "Where are you going?"

"Where they're taking us, of course. Darling, I know the routine," Izumi looked back at Fai to flash one of her ever persistent grins, "I just wanted to be invited first. Puts people at ease when they feel like it was their idea, plus, they get to show off the muscles a little."

Fai shrugged, "If that's how you want to play it."

"It's the only way I can play it," Izumi muttered under her breath.

The two shinobi continued to flank them, but their unseen pals shot off ahead. Izumi and Fai kept track of their positions, but weren't very concerned; it seemed everyone was heading to the same location, and if a fight broke out, they could handle themselves. As they walked further into the village, Fai could feel the shinobi gathering around them, always staying out of sight, forming a human guard rail. She looked to her mother, but found her at ease with the situation. Apparently, everything was going the way she'd planned, so all there was left for Fai to do was sit back and ride it out, for now.

All eyes were on the newcomers as they strolled down the street toward the Academy; the hokage statues loomed over them as they approved. "Who are those guys?" Fai stared up at the massive stone faces.

"Quiet," Izumi glanced at the five faces, and then locked her eyes on the double doors of the building that held the Academy and the village administration, "now isn't the time." Fai huffed with a pout, but continued to eye the mountain side statues from the edge of her vision. The courtyard of the Academy was deserted, there were no children playing, no lessons being taught. It seemed the village had taken the precautions of hiding their children from the big, bad pair.

"Geez, do you think they have us covered? What did you put in that note you sent?" Fai asked, " 'I eat babies for breakfast and sip on your souls as snacks, beware'? You'd think, from this lovely welcome committee and the fear I smell, we're a bunch of wild, rabid dogs on the loose."

Izumi rubbed her elbow into her daughter's ribs, "I did happen to tell them to lock up their men," Fai let out a snort in response and slapped her mother's arm away.

They enter through the doors and ascend the stairs toward the Hokage's office, their two escorts following a few steps behind. Izumi's anticipations built with each step, scenario after scenario running through her head as her fingers fretted with the hem of her cloak. She unconsciously opened her senses, allowing all the hostile energy to fill her. With a tiny shudder, she closed herself off from the combined energies. Why was there so much hatred in the air? Never would she have thought a reappearance would cause so much stir. They reached the top of the stairwell. She had known it would be difficult to come back and face what she had left behind, but she had no idea how nervous she would be until this moment, standing in front of the doors to the Hokage's office. She felt like a child, perhaps a little sick. Cursing herself, Izumi again opened her senses, with more control, and wilted at the realization that the room was full of jonin. Nothing was easy, or private, apparently. The doors were pushed open and the two stepped into the room.

The sheer intensity of the collective power of each shinobi in the room caught Fai off guard. Her own power flooded her body, every cell in her body screaming to attack, she had to physically jerk herself back and suppress her basic instincts. The tension in the air thickened to the point of becoming tangible, Izumi was sure; Fai's slip of control had distressed everyone, and she could see the cold sweat on some faces. Izumi discretely glanced at Fai, but that stubborn, stoical look told her Fai knew what she had done and was quite embarrassed. Before she could swing a grin and try her best to defuse the situation, his scent hit her nose and stopped her heart. How foolish to think he wouldn't be here, and that she wouldn't respond. Seventeen years still wasn't enough time to forget him. Lucky for Izumi, a loud voice cause everyone's head to turn and stifled her reaction.

"Hey! Izumi! Fai! Why are you guys here? We're waiting for some super dangerous visitors, so I'm kind of busy right now, ya know."

"Naruto..." Izumi started to speak, but the blond shinobi interrupted.

"Oh hey! Are you guys here to help?"

"No you idiot!" Fai snagged Naruto by his jacket collar, who had innocently walked up to her to greet the two, "We're the ones you're waiting for!"

"Huh?" Naruto stared at her, dumb-founded.

"Of all the insults," grumbled Fai as she released him. A girl with pink hair came up behind Naruto and slammed her fist against his head, much to Izumi and Fai's amusement.

"Idiot! Don't go blurting out intel to dangerous outsiders!"

"Sakura..." Naruto rubbed the lump she had left on his head, "Izumi and Fai aren't dangerous, ya know."

"Again with the insults!" Fai was getting fired up, "Obviously we've been too lenient with you these past few years." With a heavy sigh, Izumi patted her daughter on the head, slightly ruffling the silky, black hair.

"Hush," the single word seemed to deflate Fai a little. Izumi raised her chin and scanned the room, tactfully avoiding him, though perhaps unnecessarily as his face was buried in his book. He seemed totally unaware of her presence, "Hello, I am Izumi, and this is my daughter Fai. We are pleased to meet all of you."

There was a strange change in the air. Fai shifted to glance over and noticed one of the shinobi, a man with unruly, light gray hair and a mask, had put down a book and was now staring intently at her mother.

"It has been a while, Izumi. It's good to see you."

Izumi bowed, "You as well, Lady Tsunade."

"So this is where you've been," Fai's lips pulled back into a good-natured sneer, "we were all wondering where you had gotten off to."

"You impudent brat," Tsunade's brow twitched slightly with irritation, "show a little respect."

"Oh I have the utmost respect for you, Tsunade," Fai's sneer grew into a cheeky grin, "and your money. The dens just aren't the same without."

The whole room went awkwardly silent at the mention of the fifth Hokage's gambling habits; only Tsunade seemed unperturbed, brushing off Fai's jeer, "I see your attitude hasn't changed a bit."

"What did you expect?" Both Fai and Izumi grinned at the Hokage and she could only shake her head, "I mean, the attention is flattering, really," Fai waved carelessly at the shinobi, "but necessary? We're not here to kill you, ya know."

"You can never be too careful, all things considered," Tsunade muttered. Folding her hands, she stared down the pair, "I would like a more detailed explanation of why you are here today."

"It's a bit of a story," Izumi grinned a little shamefully as she lifted her hand to her temple and ran her fingers through her bold, red hair, "to make it short, we had just gotten back from a trip and found our home in ruins. Now, I love the outdoors as much as the next person, but winter's coming and we don't have proper shelter. My hope was that you would be so kind as to allow us to stay in the village."

"Why here?"

"Truth be told," Izumi chuckled nervously, "We're a tad low on funds, and Konoha is the closest place."

"So you're asking for a free hand-out?"

"Err," again, Izumi gave Tsunade her best smile, "maybe?"

"Where were you during the war?" Izumi saw the hard look in Tsunade's eyes and felt a tiny bit of guilt.

"Away on a trip, like I said."

"And you didn't hear about? Everyone was drawn in."

"Obviously not," Izumi retorted, "you could say we were very far away. The war destroyed our house, perhaps that's karma. Will you allow us to stay here or not?"

"That depends," Izumi watched with unease as the two village elders, Utatane Koharu and Mitokado Homura, moved into sight, "where were you seventeen years ago on the night Yondaime Hokage was killed."

"I-I'm sorry," she fumbled, "I don't think I really understand what you're inquiring...if you are inquiring at all," her hand curled into a fist as the elders' words sank in.

"Izumi," Tsunade straight-forward tone calmed Izumi a little, "I know both you and Fai have extraordinary powers akin to a Jinchuuriki. Admittedly, I know your daughter better than I know you, but I do know you were from our village before you...relocated. When I received your note, it was revealed by the elders that you had been seen in Yondaime's home before the incident, and after, you were never heard from again. You also conveniently disappeared during the war against the ones who instigated that attack."

"I see," Izumi glanced around the room again; the malevolent feelings were making more sense.

"Do you? Do you really understand the severity of this accusation?"

"Indeed, I do. Those are a lot of facts that I cannot dispute, but I can tell you I had nothing to do with the attack or the war," Izumi kept her eyes glued to Tsunade's as she spoke.

"How can we know that you're not lying?" someone cried out.

"Izumi would never-!" Naruto was cut off by Fai's hand clamping over his mouth.

"Quiet you fool!" she muttered while gauging the crowd. Things were turning pretty heated, "Don't you know enough to not speak out against an angry mob?"

Koharu spoke above the others, "Perhaps if you allow someone from our Intelligence Division to confirm this within your mind-"

"No."

"Hmph! Then it cannot be confirmed and you are a traitor," exclaimed the female elder.

"Now, now," Tsunade seemed to brush off Koharu's words like she had Fai's earlier, "I think in this situation, that would be my call to make," Tsunade and Izumi had yet to break eye contact, "Izumi, why will you not consent?"

"I will not have someone poking through my brain. It's unsettling to even think about," but Izumi grinned, "I don't think Fai or I would mind tell you the story in detail...just not with our current audience. Think of it as being top-secret."

"I see," Tsunade grinned in return, "fine, you and Fai can stay in Konoha."

"What?" Koharu squawked. Other people in the room began to mutter and grumble, but no one else argued with the Hokage out right.

"Okay, fine, with supervision," Tsunade thought a moment before nodding, "of course, you two will have to be supervised for the foreseeable future by someone who can supposedly handle you guys...Kakashi."

"What?" It was Izumi's turn to squawk.

The masked ninja Fai had noticed earlier moved to stand next to Tsunade's desk, "Lady Hokage, I don't think I would be best suited for the task. Perhaps the ANBU could spare someone."

"No."

Both Izumi and Kakashi looked taken aback by Tsuande's blatant rejection, "Kakashi, I am giving you a direct order to oversee Fai and Izumi during their stay in our village."

"I've changed my mind."

Everyone turned to Izumi, "Um, what exactly have you changed your mind on?" Tsunade asked.

"We don't have to stay here, I'm sure we can find lodgings elsewhere-Ack!"

Fai's arm locked around her mother's neck, "The fuck we will," she hissed into Izumi's ear, "I walked all the way here, after racing home on foot. We have no money currently; everything valuable we left has been stolen. I'm tired. I've been in total wilderness for the past few months; I am not leaving this place until I get a hot bath and an actual bed to sleep in."

"We could be in Sunagakure in a day, two tops," grunted Izumi.

"And be dead on arrival?" her hissing was becoming a low growl, "Fuck no! I don't know what your problem is all of a sudden, but this was your idea, so suck it up," on that note she released her mother and turned to address Tsunade while Izumi rubbed her sore neck and sulked, "Excuse my mother's momentary laps into idiocy. We accept your condition and choice of supervisor. Where will we be housed?"

Tsunade pursed her lips and considered the pair before her. Maybe this was a mistake. She knew both women were rumored to have a wild streak, and that chaos was constantly nipping at their heels. Cunning, licentious, clever... everything a fox was notorious for, they were it. After a small internal debate, she thought, what the hell? "There is a vacant, two bedroom apartment adjacent to Kakashi's. That is where you will be staying. Everyone's dismissed," Lady Tsunade casually flicked her wrist and the crowd of ninjas disappeared, the elders walked out with noses upturned in disapproval. Only herself, Shizune, Sakura, Naruto, Kakashi and the cloaked women now stood in her office. It was still quite a party.

Fai rolled her shoulders, "Geez, what an uptight group. The sand siblings never get so fluffed up when we come to visit. When does the fun start?"

"It doesn't," Izumi's gaze slide over to her daughter, "and they don't get 'fluffed up,' as you put it, because they're use to us visiting."

"Fluffed?"

Fai turned to Sakura and spoke as if she had given the lecture many times, "When an animal feels threatened, a lot of times those with fur or feathers will puff themselves up to look bigger and scarier for the thing they find threatening. You guys just did the human equivalence by filling up this room with an intimidating number of people," she turned back to her mother, "It can't be all that bad. We'll gamble a little, drink some drink, and have some fun while winter runs its course."

"No gambling, I think you're still too young to drink by their laws, and if you're talking about the kind of fun I think you are," Izumi risked a quick glance at Kakashi that Fai didn't miss, "I'll wish you luck."

"What? What kind of place is this?" Fai glared at Tsunade, "Why is your village so lame compared to Sunagakure? With you being such a fun person, I had assumed..."

Izumi grinned, "I think you're confusing the word 'fun' with 'corrupt' in this case. Besides, from the sound of things, you might not find Sunagakure to be the same place we once knew..."

Tsunade cleared her throat to get the two's attentions, "If you could refocus your attention to the matter at hand, please introduce yourselves to each other."

"Uzumaki Naruto! But, you guys already know who I am, ya know!" Naruto smiled in an embarrassed manner while he pointed at himself.

"Hello, my name is Haruno Sakura," she bowed politely toward the newcomers, "I am one of Naruto's teammates. I apologize for the absence of our other teammate."

Fai cocked an eyebrow at the pink haired female, but no further information was given in explanation of her apology or this other teammate. She rounded on the silver haired man that had Izumi all twisted up in knots.

"Ah, I am Hatake Kakashi, and I suppose I'll be your chaperone," his only visible eye crinkled upward.

Fai couldn't tell if he was grinning or grimacing, either way, she decided on the spot she didn't like him, "You may address me as Fai."

"Must you always be so haughty?" Izumi teased, but her insides were noodles at the prospect of having Kakashi overseeing them, "Please call me Izumi. It is nice to meet you Sakura."

"Oh?" Sakura furrowed her brow, "You know Naruto, but do you know Kakashi-sensei as well?"

"Huh?" Izumi's face went blank for a moment before realizing her mistake. She could feel the blush creeping up her face as she waved her hands nervously, "No, I mean, it's not like-I just, well, you know-"

"Izumi and I knew either other when we were much younger," Kakashi interrupted her babblings, "before she left the village."

"Right," Izumi chuckled uneasily, "Exactly."

Fai frowned at her mother, and then at the jonin, "Sure, whatever. I'm tired, so how about you show us to the apartment?"

"No problem," Kakashi pulled out 'Make-out Tactics' and buried his face in it, "Follow me."

The two young ninja followed their former teacher out the door, with Izumi and Fai trailing behind.

"Izumi! Fai!"

Both turned at the door to look back at Tsunade.

"I trust you, because Jiraiya trusted you," The fifth Hokage's eyes burned like amber, "Don't prove me a fool."

"Hai!" They both gave a small salute and disappeared.

:::

Well there you have it. First chapter. Tell me what you think! Be cruel, its the only way I like it. Not a single update until this chapter gets at least one review (see? I can be cruel too, hehe). Review lovelies.

Jin.


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